It's not a Kidnapping
by Crazy Cherries
Summary: "Why do you have a kidnapping-mobile parked in Sakura's driveway?" Sasuke asked. "I'm going to kidnap someone... I came here to see if she has any candy. You know, to lure Hinata in." Naruto stated. NaruHina


**It's not a Kidnapping**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto._

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Sakura and Sasuke stared (well, it was more like they gaped) at Naruto. The Uzumaki child was currently parking a huge, white, unmarked, van in Sakura's driveway.

"What are you doing?" Sakura yelled, the moment he stepped out of the van with, apparently, not a care in the world.

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, face completely blank. The boy was clueless.

Sasuke sighed, "She means, why do you have a kidnapping-mobile parked in her driveway?"

"Did you finally kidnap that kid down the street? Please tell me you didn't kill him!"

"No... I didn't kidnap anyone, what makes you think that?" He asked, scratching the back of his head.

"The van. It's what kidnappers use!"

"Oh... Yeah, I bought this from some guy on the street. He wanted me to pay two hundred bucks. I managed to take it off his hands for fifty." The idiot grinned like this was the greatest deal in the world.

"You-it-but-no. No Naruto. It's an evil thing. Go and give it to the police or just leave it on the street or something. No knowing what it was used for." Sakura crossed her arms and tossed her hair, this was all she had to say on the subject.

"Well I don't know what it was used for, but I know what it's going to be used for!" He grinned and pet the car affectionately.

"And what exactly is it going to be used for?" Sasuke asked, expecting some answer along the lines of 'Picking up hot chicks.'

"I'm going to kidnap someone."

Both Sasuke and Sakura, who had been heading inside so she could claim she knew nothing about Naruto and a white van, choked on their own spit and stared at the crazy kid.

"WHAT?"

"I'm going to kidnap someone."

"Who? Who are you going to kidnap?" Sakura asked, eyes wide.

"Hinata." Naruto answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, like stating that the sky was blue and the grass was green.

"And why are you going to kidnap that innocent girl?"

"Well... Girls always talk about wanting guys to sweep them away or steal their hearts. I'm going to sweep her away! Into my van. Which will lead to stealing her heart, cause, you know, it's in her body, and stealing her is going to lead to stealing her heart, by default. You see, I've planned this all out. I have a chalkboard at home and both my mom and dad approved it."

Sakura sighed, "Alright. Let's go."

"Wait," Sasuke said, looking at Sakura, "You're going to go with him?"

"Well, we are involved now, and it is kind of sweet so yeah. I'm going to go with him. You are coming with us too."

"We're going to get arrested and sent to jail for guilt by association or whatever that thing is."

"Stop your complaining and get in here!"

"Wait," Naruto called to Sakura, who had already buckled herself in, "I came here to see if you have any candy. You know, to lure her in."

"Idiot, Hinata can't have candy. It makes her go crazy."

"Yeah, she can't have it, so she'll be tempted into wanting it. So she'll get in the van! Kidnappers on TV do it all the time! I've seen it. It works. It's fault-proof!"

So Sakura went inside and got her bag of Halloween candy and got in the back with Sasuke so they could lure Hinata inside while Naruto drove, slowly next to her.

"This is stupid," Sasuke states as Naruto backs out of Sakura's driveway and heads towards the school. Hinata's tutoring today so she'll start walking home in about five minutes.

"Shut up, Uchiha. You're stupid. This plan is going to work. Now here," she handed him a monkey mask, "put this on so no one will recognize us. Naruto's already got his red nose on and the clown hair."

Sasuke took the mask from her and looked at it with distaste, "No."

"But Sasuke!"

"No."

"PUT IT ON!"

"No. Besides you don't have one on either," he pointed out with a triumphant smirk. Sakura just rolled her eyes and reached into the candy bag once more to pull out another mask. This one was just a bright, yellow happy face. Sasuke looked at it, then back up at her, and back down at the mask again before stating, quite firmly, "I want that one."

"No."

"Sakura!"

"No. This one is mine."

"But I don't want the monkey one."

"Uchiha, you will wear the monkey one and you will like it!"

"Nooo. Saaakuraaaa. I wanna wear the happy one!"

"But you're never happy, Sasuke, it wouldn't make sense!"

"Sakuraaaa it would make perfect sense! No one would recognize me!" Sasuke whined.

"Just give him the damn happy mask Sakura! He won't shut up until you do!" Naruto shouted from his spot at the front.

"No!" Sakura refused and decided to take on a different tactic, "Uchiha, if you don't wear that damned monkey mask I will tell your mother where your stash of porn is!"

"You wouldn't dare," he stated, eyes narrowing.

"Wouldn't I? Ask Naruto."

Hearing his name, Naruto nodded, "It's true. I didn't give her my ice cream cone and months of porn. Gone."

Sakura smirked and watched in satisfaction as Sasuke pulled the monkey mask on and went into the corner of the van to sit and sulk, "It smells like puke," he stated, his last, defiant act to prove this really wasn't what he wanted to do and was only forced to comply if he didn't want to face the consequences, soon enough though, the puke smell got to him. Suddenly, a plan came to him. If he sat in the front, he could roll the window down.

"Naruto."

"What?" The bond asked, still driving. They were almost there.

"Switch with me. I'll drive and you sit in the back."

"What? Why?"

"This way," he smirked, already having the perfect excuse, "you can get Hinata in here yourself."

The kids eyes lit up, "That's a great idea!"

So, the two of them switched spots, with no complaints from Sakura, who also couldn't stand Sasuke's stench. It was starting to get to her too, although she'd never admit it.

"LOOK! THERE SHE IS!" Naruto jumped up from his spot behind Sasuke, and pointed at Hinata.

"I see her you idiot; sit down and stop distracting me," Sasuke shot at the blond, having almost collided with a kid on the sidewalk, whose mother was probably still spewing curses at him.

"Sorry, I'm just so excited."

"We can see that Naruto, just sit down," Sakura exclaimed, to which the blond complied to.

"Alright, I'm next to her, yank the door open."

Sakura and Naruto wasted no time with this, and soon Naruto was trying to leave the van, only to have Sakura snatch him back, "We gotta be covert Naruto!"

He nodded and she let go. Hinata, who had figured out something was up, had begun to walk a little faster, but Naruto called out to her, pitching his voice low, he said, "Hey, hey, you there. Girl. Come here. I need some help. I lost a puppy, you seen it around here?"

"No," she squeaked out and walked faster. Sakura sighed and hit Naruto over the head.

"Idiot," she muttered under her breath and pushed him out of the way so now she was squatting by the door, "Quick, Hinata, get in the car." Sakura whispers to the girl.

"What?" She looks confused, frightened, how do these people know her name, she wonders almost hysterically, and hopes someone will call 911 if she screams.

"You want candy?" Naruto pushes Sakura out of the way and gives Hinata a knowing look, and winks suggestively, "We got candy."

"No thank you," she declines, walking even faster.

"Come on, Hinata, you know you want some candy. It's not sugar free, I swear! Just get in the van!"

"Hey! Hey mister!" A new voice calls out to them.

"What do you want kid?" Naruto looks at the pipsqueak that Sakura recognizes as Konohamaru.

"I want some of that candy you were offering to this girl, she obviously doesn't want any, so... Give it to me instead!"

Sakura gave the kid a look, "You need to be in the van to get the candy."

Konohamaru, shrugs, "Sure," he says and tries to get into the van.

Hinata sighs and shoves the kid out of the way, "Alright, pull me in," she states. No kid is getting kidnapped on her watch, even if that means she herself has to get kidnapped.

"Yes!" Naruto shouts and pumps his fist into the air, "Success!"

She eyes them, there's one man driving, and a woman with another man in the back. Oh, God, she hopes someone will rescue her, maybe Konohamaru will tell the police what happened to her. Oh who was she kidding? That kid was as dumb as a kid could get. He had been willing to get kidnapped! Didn't they teach kids stranger danger anymore?

"So," Sakura said to Naruto, "what now?"

"Um... I'm not sure..." he says, scratching the back of his head.

"I thought you had a plan!"

"I know! But I got so excited when phase one worked that... I forgot the rest." He grinned and shrugged his shoulders in a 'what-can-you-do-about-it' way.

"N-Naruto?" Hinata asked, with a gasp.

"Um... ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION!" Naruto screeched and Sasuke hit the brakes, while Sakura opened the door and pushed Hinata out.

"W-Wha-?" Hinata started, as she was shoved, unceremoniously out the door she had been so forcibly pulled into.

"Drive! Drive! Drive!" Naruto yelled.

But that's not what Sasuke did, instead he kept his foot on the break while Sakura shoved Naruto out as well and screeched, "Let him love you!" before shutting the door and telling Sasuke to step on it, which he did.

.

Later that night, Sasuke and Sakura sat on the overstuffed couch in her den and ate the candy that Hinata had refused while they watched the news (Sasuke's choice, since Sakura had forced him to wear that horrible mask).

"Where do you think Hinata and Naruto are right now?" Sasuke suddenly asked.

Sakura shrugged and said, "Who knows. Hopefully making out with Hinata."

Suddenly Sakura choked on her candy, "Oh my God, Sasuke! Look at the TV, it's Konohamaru!"

Sasuke's eyes widened and saw that sure enough, there was the little boy who had wanted their candy telling a reporter about how, "This girl got some candy, that I really wanted in this white van with a clown, a big smiley face and some gorilla thing!"

"It was a monkey," Sasuke muttered under his breath and Sakura stifled a giggle.

"And I really wanted it, and I tried to get into the van but that girl probably got the candy when she went in the van! It wasn't fair! I wanted the candy and they wouldn't give it to me." Konahamaru pouted at the screen and the reporter switched news stories to one that made both Sasuke and Sakura choke.

"In further news, Naruto Uzumaki was arrested for trying to kidnap Hinata Hyuuga, he was seen dragging her unconscious body across the street. The boy kept insisting that she'd fainted when he kissed her but due to the fact that she has not woken up yet, the story cannot be confirmed. He is being held in the public jail until more information comes to light."

Sakura turned the TV off, "Sasuke..."

"Yeah?" he asked, both of them were facing forward, still staring at the now off television.

"Umm... What did you do with the van?"

"I left it in Naruto's driveway."

"Good. You wiped it down right? No prints."

"Yup."

"Okay."

"Okay."

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_Hey guys! I haven't been on here for a while (too busy applying to colleges and all that) did you know that AP classes can and will make you cry? So. Much. Work. Anyway, feel free to review!_


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